Furry Brats

We really dig having a big ol' house. It is great for visitors, entertaining, and having my own space when Ben is getting on my nerves. On the other hand there are some ways it really sucks, like in the winter when we have to heat the massive thing and all the time and energy spent keeping all the critters out. We have had bats, mice, a stinky dog and now a pair of red squirrels.

I was doing homework late one night in the kitchen and heard a whole lot of scratching, running and scurrying. We knew a tame red squirrel had been in the basement eating sunflower seeds. What we didn't know was we had a pair making a nest somewhere close to the vent above our wood stove. Little jerks. The Saturday after my run in with the squirrels both Ben and I were in the kitchen making lunch and I spotted the squirrel above the wood stove. Being the thing was so tame I was able to talk to him through the vent while Ben lifted the vent cap and snatched him from above. The squirrel screamed bloody murder which scared the other squirrel into hiding. We kept squirrel #1 in a bucket while we waited to catch #2. We never caught #2 and #1 spent so much time in the bucket we couldn't re catch the pissed off rodent to terminate him. So we had to drive him across the river into Brewer and let him go. We haven't seen or heard from either of them since.Which is good because we don't have time to deal with squirrels, we got enough going on with Woof, the furry brat. Woof expects a certain amount of attention and if he doesn't get it he whines or pees in the porch or digs a hole in the yard. Some days, I would gladly give him away, other days he is all right. But Ben he loves Woof all the time. You see Ben and Woof love to hunt, I think hunting is for rednecks. So they go do their hunt thing and Ben kills stuff and Woof goes and gets it. On special days like this one here, Woof does what no hunting dog should ever do. Ben was in the house talking to me on the phone when he had to put me on hold. Through the window he spotted Woof eating his ducks. I am not bummed, I think duck tastes like tire, but Ben he was PISSED off. Hah!! See Ben, the dog is a brat, you were just in denial.